drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
