Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He passed out mid-signature
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
