She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
