whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
