We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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