That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
