How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So here I am, sexting at work.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
