she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
