My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
