I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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