im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
