Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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