I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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