Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
