he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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