Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
