I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
why do cheetos always look like penises
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we're so committed to being not committed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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