So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize