Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
