I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize