My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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