so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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