You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
