chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
pop tarts are not kleenex
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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