I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
