i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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