you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
