oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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