The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
