Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
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I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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