If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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