There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
