He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
