We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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