i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So much rum. So many feels.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
