p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
