she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
