As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
