so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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