The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
