I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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