sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
