mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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