Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
