his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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