Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
