absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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