Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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