Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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