careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
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At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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