Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
