you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
