somebody snuck up and got me drunk
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
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Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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