it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
