When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
