so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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