i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
