I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just puked most of my soul out..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
